The older I get, the more I realize common sense really isn’t that common. We go through our days, stuck in our ways, without realizing how the world perceives us. I’m sure I’ve been just as guilty, but did not realize it.  One thing is for sure, common sense at the airport is not very common.

I travel through airports and on airlines often.  There is a process to pack, drive to, check-in, board and exit the aircraft.  I move about with a purpose and focused on efficiency.  Each trip, I pack my flight bag and suitcase nearly the same way.  

I inventory my bag each trip, actually, each morning while on the trip. I assemble my uniform and organize my carry-on suitcase with packing cubes. It just makes sense to me. But the rest of the world around seems so…chaotic, unorganized and dare I say oblivious?

Walking towards the terminal is its own circus.  The drop-off lane is strewn with cars at random intervals.  Driver side doors swing open into on-coming traffic. Passengers clamor out carrying jackets, backpacks, suitcases and sometimes dogs.  Some dogs are on a leash, while others sleep in a carry-on mesh-thing bag. Pushing, pulling and dragging their luggage, people walk 4-wide through the doors and then stop immediately once inside. They are oblivious to the fact other people are trying to enter and exit the same doors.

Working their way to the check-in counter, the wrong airline at first, is similar to the walking of the elephants at the circus. We hear lots of trumpeting and noise without achievement. Others ignore the line and just push their way to the front only to be asked for ID and not having it out. “No sir, your COSTCO card is not a valid form of ID”. Common sense is not at work.

Walking to security, frequent travelers speed up their pace to edge out the person a few steps ahead. Trying their best to position into the TSA Pre-Check lane. Once there, they struggle to show a boarding pass because their phone went to sleep. They now have to unlock it while searching their purse or wallet for a valid ID. “No ma’am, a SAMS CLUB card is not valid ID”.

One of my favorite locations to observe is the bag scan and metal detectors.  Some folks will undress more than needed while others refuse to remove a thing. “Laptops, jackets and shoes must go in their own bin”.  BEEEEEP.  “Sir you’ll have to remove your metal studded belt” “Ma’am do you have coins in your pocket?”  “CREW MEMBER! COME ON UP TO THE FRONT!”  I love when I hear that.

Free and clear we move along to the gate. At least we try.  The guy who stripped down is shuffling to a bench holding his pants with one hand, a pair of shoes and jacket in the other hand all while kicking his gym bag forward.  Left step, twirl and forward we dodge and miss him only to walk into the same set of folks walking 4 people wide through the terminal.

At the gate, we check and confirm our flight exists before rushing back for one last bathroom break. Oh the humanity!  One quick scan and sniff, we start questioning ourselves on how bad do we actually have to pee. I’ve held it through two 3-hour flights in order to avoid the anxiety of accidentally dropping an item in some unknown sort of sludge.

Back at the gate we hear the last bit of a gate agent pleading with people in Boarding Groups 7-8-9 to check their carry-on since “this flight is full and will run out of overhead bin space”. No one moves, of course, because they “found room last time”.  

Finally, the moment we’ve all been waiting for “We would like to start our pre-boarding process at this time” WHOOOOSH, everyone gets up and moves to the door all at once.  Today, everyone needs a little extra time getting down the walkway it seems. “I’m sorry sir, we’re only boarding Group 1 right now, your boarding pass has Group 9”.

At last, they announce our boarding group and we slide into place behind the guy with a backpack on his chest, one on his back and a roll on suitcase. “Sir, you can only bring one carry-on and a personal item. You’ll need to check a bag”.  Astonished, he pushes backwards and wedges his way in to talk to an overworked desk agent on the phone, printing boarding passes and trying to respond to another guy trying to get a last minute seat upgrade.

Approaching the aircraft door, we put our backpack in one hand and suitcase in the other while rotating our body 90º to walk sideways down the narrow aisle.  In a two-step glide, dancing to music only we can hear, we make our way to the assigned row and seat. 

Well, we would if it weren’t for the lady in front of us who’s talking on her phone with the speaker on, while impressively holding a Frappuccino, purse, jacket and dog in one hand.  Step, step, bump, bump each person she passes grunts and growls as they get a wallop in the head with her swinging purse.  

Finding her seat, she lays her jacket in an overhead bin and one-by-one places each item on a seat while remembering that she needs her charger out of the jacket she just placed in the overhead bin that should be reserved for suitcases.

Arriving at our row, the back pack goes under the seat while we slide our suitcase (wheels first) into the overhead.  Having a window seat means we won’t have to get up for anyone.  Water and snack go into the seat pocket, noise canceling headphones turned on and eyes go closed.  Having headphones on and eyes closed are a great way to stop unwelcome conversations. “Are you a pilot? How come you’re back here, shouldn’t you be up front? Is that noise normal?”  

Plane pushes back, engines start, safety brief is given (but no one is paying attention), aircraft taxiis and take-off is complete.  Airborne buffoonery would take hours to unwrap. Luckily, we fell asleep and missed it. Flight attendants do their cabin walk-through and only have to tell the same guy three times to “unplug your device, close your tray table and put your seat up”.

With a chirp, chirp, the wheels are down and the sound of seat belts clacking open ring through the cabin.  “Folks, we are still taxiing, please sit down and put your seat belts back on”.  Still looking for that common sense! With a ding, the seat belt light distinguishes and once again the clacking of seat belts sing their chorus. 

People sitting in the aisle seat from row 1 to 32 all jump up at once.  Where they’re going, I’m not really sure since the aircraft door is still closed.  The lady in row 23 says excuse me 3 times trying to move up her bid to exit only to be stopped by our friend from earlier as she starts another phone call on speaker.

The cleaning crew has finished cleaning half the plane by the time our row is allowed to vacate. Step, step, bump, bump we make it to the jet bridge only to be stopped by the same 4 people walking side-by-side. Good grief. This is only the first leg of the day.